Meditate Your Stress Away

I have my mother to thank for turning me on to meditation. As far as I can remember, she’s been ahead of the curve as far as alternative healthcare and nutrition is concerned.

But because when you’re a teenager you’re almost required to think everything that your parents do is strange, I failed to appreciate her lessons back then. She and my dad, during the time when Transcendental Meditation swept across America in the 70s, signed us all on for lessons. I gave it a shot, but I really didn’t understand why you needed to learn how to relax. I was 14 years old. You just – relaxed.

And after that, my mother continued to try to push the issue. Any ailment my brother and I might be suffering – headache, heartbreak, cystic acne – my mother would tell us to meditate.

How It Helps

I am thankful that I started listening to my mother a few years ago. I was living with chronic pain from a back injury, and I wasn’t taking well to medication. I was also having trouble staying asleep at night. She had been, as usual, suggesting meditation, but I kept been pushing her away. Then the pain got so bad that I started to listen. And it helped. I have been meditating almost every day for the last two years, and not only has it raised my pain threshold, but it’s helped make some very stressful times easier to tolerate, and I’m sleeping better, too.

Scientific studies have shown – and in 2007, confirmed by brain scans -- that regular meditation calms your mind by lowering the electrical stimuli produced in your amygdala, the portion of your brain that controls emotions. In doing so, you can reduce blood pressure and resting pulse rate. It’s especially good for you if you’re fighting illness or injury – it helps you get “out of your own way” so your body can heal itself.

How to Start

You may have a picture in your mind of meditation as somebody sitting in the lotus position on a cushion chanting “ohm” while burning incense. While some people might do that – and it’s a very popular stereotype in movies and on TV -- starting a meditation practice isn’t really all that exotic.

The easiest way to start is to first get comfortable in a quiet room where you feel warm and safe. Sit in a straight-backed chair or lie down on a floor mat or on your bed, and focus on your breathing. As you inhale and exhale, focus on the sensations you feel as the air either passes through your nostrils or fills up your belly. Breathe slowly, and evenly. Don’t worry too much about the thoughts going through your mind. It’s normal to think things like, “am I doing it right,” “this is stupid,” or find your mind flooding with all the things that you didn’t check off your “to do” list that day. It’s hard to stop the chatter, and often I find myself getting what I call “squirrel brain” when I do my meditation. Try not to berate yourself about that – after all, you’re just starting. And they don’t call it the “practice” of meditation for nothing. You are always practicing. So when you find your mind drifting away, gently bring your attention back to the breath.

When you’re beginning, try to shoot for meditating for 10 minutes. If this is easy for you, try to work up to 20 minutes a day. Some people suggest meditating first thing in the morning, or when you first get home at the end of the day, but generally any time you can fit it in will work. When you get more comfortable with the idea, you may find that setting a consistent time will make it easier not only for you to remember to do it, but will give your body a cue that it’s now time to relax.

If you are really having trouble focusing on your breathing, try using a simple mantra (this is just a word that gets repeated over and over when you meditate) like “peace,” “calm,” “love,” or any word that is meaningful to you. Repeat this on the inhale, and on the exhale. While your mind may still wander away, this will give you something concrete to come back to.

Possibly the hardest part about meditation is giving yourself the time to do it. Women, especially, often wind up being the ones who are always “on call.” Kids and partners need attention, chores need to be done, and sometimes you really have to work hard if you want to carve out some “me” time in the day.

Start by telling people in your household that at X time, for X minutes, you will not be available to them, that you need this time to relax. Children might have to be told in a way that is age appropriate – and very young children may not understand the concept at all. In that case, ask your husband or partner or babysitter to keep the kids occupied. Older children may understand better, especially if you bring up examples of times that they have wanted to be alone.

Husbands and partners may be another matter.  Sometimes they might want attention, or don’t understand what you’re doing and might make fun of it. Stick to your guns. Tell them you want to try something new to see if it helps you reduce stress. And that having a calmer, more relaxed you around will benefit them, as well. If all else fails, do it when they’re sleeping or not home.

If you do this for a while and like, and want to learn more, there are lots of sources out there. One of my favorites is a CD by Dr. Andrew Weil and Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, which you can get at Amazon.com or through Dr. Weil’s website. They explain different types of meditation that you might want to try, and even lead you through some of them. And having the CD is good because you can just relax and listen instead of holding a book.

Good luck, and peace. It’s worth a try. And it’s cheaper than a prescription.