Can You Teach Yourself To Be More Intuitive?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about intuition. I find that I’m sensing more than I used to, picking up on things, but I’m just now taking my first baby steps. For much of my life, I’d kept that pushy inner voice at arm’s length. Refused to listen. I don’t know how much of that was pure willfulness and how much was simply not wanting a reminder that I was about to make a bad decision. And then the wall came tumbling down. There I sat, in the rubble of the consequences of not having listened to my gut, rolling my eyes and telling that little chatterbox, “I know, I know, I should have done X, Y, or Z thing you said.”

Sigh.

But some say that you can actually train yourself to be more intuitive. Scientists are finding that intuition isn’t something mystical, something that only special people are born with, but a super-specialized way of thinking. “It’s a learned experience – something we might not even be aware we had – that is instantly accessible,” says David Myers, Ph.D., author of “Intuition: Its Powers and Perils.” In an interview with Shape magazine, he described how you can connect with your inner voice by asking yourself these six questions:

1. You and your environment: are you in sync?

Firefighters seem to know when to get out of dangerous situations. They’ve learned this by paying attention to a subconscious checklist of details about their environments. Try this to become more attuned to your surroundings: start with a few places you’re well acquainted with. Maybe your home, or your office, or your neighborhood. Look for three things you may never have noticed before. For instance, I spend a lot of time at home, so I have a pretty keen awareness about what’s supposed to be where. So I can tell if something’s out of place that might be a hazard to me (stuff I might trip over) or to anyone who might be due to visit, especially if that’s someone with a baby or a dog (yes, I let my neighbors come in with their dogs). Once you become more acquainted with your environment, and its changes, you can use this information to make a decision. For instance, perhaps you sense something out of place in the family room, and notice that your teenager has plugged one too many adapters into a power strip. This could be a fire hazard, or at the very least could blow a fuse. So you could decide to either put another strip into another outlet, or have an electrician install a new outlet.

2. You and your listening skills: “I’m sorry, what did you say?"

You can tune up your intuition by training yourself to be a better listener. The more info you absorb, the bigger database your mind has when time comes to make an important decision. Start by taking a mental inventory of your listening style: do you cut people off? Are you thinking about the next thing you want to say while the other person is talking? Are you always trying to get your point across at the expense of listening to the other person’s point of view? Even if you don’t have any of these habits, there’s always room for improvement. Some journalists called Bill Clinton an “active listener.” He kept eye contact with the person he was speaking with. “You’re less likely to interrupt someone you’re staring at,” said Joan Marie Whelan, author of “Soul Discovery.” Try this for a while and you might find that you’re picking up on more clues that could feed your intuitive skills.

3. You and body language: how fluent are you?

Being able to recognize cues from facial expressions and other non-verbal communication can give you valuable information. Get to know what some of these cues mean while you’re listening to someone speak (and really listening.) If someone is smiling, and their eyes crinkle up, then they mean it. If a smile only involves the lips, the person could be faking it. Check out what these expressions mean and see if they don’t help you improve your intuitive skills.

4. You and risk: do you shrink away?

If the idea of taking a risk makes you quiver, then try amping it up. I don’t mean dangerous stuff like cliff diving…but going out on that limb a little. “When you take risks, you’re being proactive, which helps you control events better than when you’re reactive,” says Whelan. And it could help your intuitive skills. Try pushing a bit out of your comfort zone. Go to a different place for coffee just because it feels right. When something inside you tells you to call a particular friend, pick up the phone. This could get you in the habit of listening to your gut. Good things could result.

5.  You and your inner voice: Do you tell it to shut up?

Watch any quiz show. A contestant will burst out with an answer, and, given some time, will inevitably second-guess himself. The sad music plays, and he walks out empty handed. So often, that first instinct is the right one. If a firefighter second-guessed his gut, it could be disastrous. And some studies show that second-guessing your thought process could up your error rate by 30%. So if something gives you a strong message, and you’re unsure of how to proceed, stop and ask yourself questions about it (like, “what am I reacting to?”) before you say, “Final answer, Regis!”

6. You and chilling out: can you let yourself relax?

Maybe some of you have experienced this as well. I often get my best creative ideas when I’m out for a walk, floating in the pool, or taking a shower. I’ve set my conscious mind on “pause,” which lets insight and creativity flow free. “Giving yourself permission to let go of your focus and ignore all the maybes and what ifs can make room for you to follow more intuitive ideas,” says Mark Jung-Beeman, Ph.D., a cognitive neuroscientist from Northwestern University. Try giving your brain a “timeout” for 30 minutes a day - exercise, get back to nature, catch up with the latest gossip - and let your thoughts flow freely. You might come back with an idea or an insight you never would have imagined.

So how are your intuitive skills? Do you think that intuition can be learned, or are some people naturally better at it than others? And how do you feel about the phrase “women’s intuition?” Is it a myth, or is there some truth to it?