OpusWrites

My Last Plea To Hillary Supporters

Laurieboris — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 00:23:07 GMT

Normally, my political articles have had a bit of a snarky edge. But tonight, I want to get serious.

I read an article this morning on The Huffington Post about a group of Hillary supporters who were going on a bus trip to Scranton, Pennsylvania to pledge their support for John McCain.

While everybody is entitled to their opinion, the meat of this story disturbed me. Especially because this issue hits so close to home.

I live in New York State, where, like it or not, she is one of our two senators.

Over the last few months, informally and during my work with a local chapter of Obama for America, I've spoken with several women who had supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries, but vowed not to vote for Senator Obama because he hadn't chosen her to be his vice-presidential candidate. Some of these women have been quite ardent in their opinions. I understand why they might feel disappointed. But I don't understand why they are voting for John McCain.

I guess they don't know much about Senator Obama's strong record on supporting women's issues. Back when he was an Illinois State Senator, Obama helped pass legislation to expand insurance coverage for mammograms. Probably because his mother's death from ovarian cancer effected him so profoundly, when he became a United States Senator, he was an original co-sponsor of Johanna's Law, which was designed to educate women and increase awareness of ovarian cancer.

Unlike his opponent, who has changed his position when it suited him politically, and very much unlike John McCain's running mate, Barack Obama has always supported a woman's right to choose. If he is elected president, he will fight to preserve Roe vs. Wade and not allow any constitutional amendment banning abortion.

He was also an original co-sponsor of legislation that is intended to improve access to contraception, health information and preventative services to help reduce unintended pregnancies. This act will also end insurance discrimination against contraception, improve awareness about emergency contraception, and provide compassionate assistance to rape victims. He has introduced legislation to combat domestic violence and has supported strengthening domestic violence laws. And, he and Joe Biden have worked hard to get women equal pay for equal work.

That's just a small taste of how Barack Obama's policies will benefit women.

So I urge all women who want to vote for John McCain as a protest to think again. Think about how dismissive McCain has been about "women's issues," putting little air quotes around them when he speaks of them. Think about the Supreme Court justices who may be retiring over the next four years, and, if John McCain were elected, the kind of justices he might be replacing them with. Maybe the kind who would repeal Roe vs. Wade. Think about his running mate, who would counsel a girl who had become pregnant through rape or incest to "choose life." I can't even imagine being in that young girl's shoes, how cruel it would be to force her to relive that horrid event every day for nine months.

Think again. Your vote could be the one that makes the difference. Maybe even for your own daughter.

At Least The Benefits Are Cool

Laurieboris — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:23:08 GMT

As the last, nasty dregs of this brutal presidential campaign dribble from the political spout, I look at both of these candidates and think, “I’m glad I’m not one of them.”

Being President of the United States has to be just about the hardest job in the world (outside of, you know, brain surgeons and people like that). Especially now. Look what you’d be walking into. An economic catastrophe, two wars, various other hotspots flaring up all around the globe, what is sure to be a very short honeymoon between you and the press, and whatever other assorted messes that George Bush will be leaving behind.

You couldn’t get me to take that oath, not in a million years. I’d make a really lousy president, anyway. What with saying what’s on my mind and all. And expecting my husband to pick china patterns and linen? Well, he is an artist, so he’d probably be better at it than a lot of other people.

And think of all the multitasking. You’ve got Putin on the phone over here, a bunch of school kids who came in for a photo op over there, a state dinner for some African president in a country that didn’t exist five years ago down the hall, not to mention all those lobbyists who keep trying to get in the door. And recent studies show that multitasking doesn’t really make us any more productive. So everybody gets about, oh, I’d estimate 30% of your attention? And supposedly, men are worse at multitasking than women. Something about that biological need to pick the wildebeest out of a bunch of brush so you can get a clear shot at it.

Perhaps a woman would be a better choice for the job. At least you’d know – evolutionarily speaking (that means the other theory they are teaching in school, Governor Palin) – that she could handle more than one thing at a time.

But this woman ain’t throwing her hat into the ring, no way, no how, no McCain, no Palin. Not for all the dollars in Obama’s campaign war chest, not for all the “half-truths” Bush has told during the last eight years, not for all the times that John McCain has said “my friends” in the entire campaign season starting from the word “go.”

Nope. You’re not going to get me out on that campaign trail. Just try me – offer me the ownership of the New York Yankees. Write me into T. Boone Pickens will. Give me the equivalent of all the royalties of all of the Harry Potter books combined.

I’m not budging.

Just look what it does to you! Look at the pictures of Bill Clinton before he got into office compared to the ones after. He must’ve aged four years for every one that he spent in the White House (six for every one during the Lewinsky scandal).

It’s a good thing that Senator Obama is starting out so young. Imagine what McCain would look like at the end of his (I shudder at the very thought of this outcome) term. It’s not a pretty sight.

At the very least, I hope the job comes with dental.

The S Word: Sneaky

Laurieboris — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:50:52 GMT

John McCain and his running mate are making great political hay out of linking Barack Obama with this year’s latest dreaded word. Yes, every presidential campaign has one of those, and they usually come out at around this time in the election process. “Liberal” was a famous one, whispered about John Kerry and Al Gore.

Right now, that word is “socialism.” Governor Palin, in an attempt to misrepresent her opponent’s positions, tells her goggle-eyed acolytes “that this is no time to be experimenting with socialism.”

Well, guess what, Governor? We already are. We have been since the federal income tax was instated. People send the IRS their money, and the government spends it as they see fit. And, with the advent of the Social Security system, this money gets spent on retirees. With Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “New Deal,” the money goes to more people whom the government deems needy. Ditto Lyndon Johnson’s “Great Society.”

And another news flash, Ms. Palin: what do you think the government bailout is? The very “rescue plan” that your boss suspended his campaign to race down to Washington (after an interview with Katie Couric, a good meal, a good nights sleep, and a speech at an event sponsored by Bill Clinton) to “help” get passed. And he also voted for said bill. Allowing our banks to become nationalized -- is that not more experimentation with socialism?

And this “flash of genius” (the author says sarcastically, if you haven’t figured that out already) that John McCain released during one of the debates about having the government buy back failed mortgages – isn’t that just more socialism?

So I’d be careful about the words you toss around, Governor – like I’ve found so many times, they can often come back not just to haunt you, but to bite you in your ever-more-socialist and designer-clad ass.

Dressing Caribou Barbie

Laurieboris — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:44:18 GMT

(Beware: Snarkiness alert. Those of you with sensitive sensibilities may want to read another article, or go watch Fox News until you feel better.)

As long as so much of the presidential campaign reportage has taken a powder from what’s going on in the real world, I might as well join them in celebrating this silliest part of this silly season.

But first, some history.

In this topsy-turvy world where style triumphs over substance, appearances seem to matter. John Edwards, who touted himself as the champion of the poor while on the campaign trail, didn’t do himself any favors by getting a $200 haircut. Jokes abounded about Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits and her “cankles.” And her husband, in a famous incident from his presidency, took Air Force One (at our expense) to California and let it cool its wheels on the tarmac while he got a much more expensive coif from his favorite LA stylist. Barack Obama graced the covers of a couple of well-known style magazines, looking as debonair as the next James Bond. Joe Biden is a walking advertisement for hair plugs, and I’m almost certain that John McCain has had something that rhymes with “Botox” injected into his forehead. And studies often show that the taller candidate is often the victor, as is the more attractive one.

Now a down-home gal who has been molding her political image as a gosh-darn hockey mom from Main Street Wasilla is getting a lot of attention – not all of it good -- for a certain $150,000 item on the RNC’s budget last month – an entire wardrobe from a whole host of up-market stores like Neiman Marcus and Barney’s.

One could argue that since, like it or not, she’s been thrust onto the national stage, she should be dressing the part. But when you’re making your trademark (or it’s being made for you) as someone who understands the plight of Joe and Jane Sixpack because she’s one of them, maybe she should have taken her shopping a little more downscale. Yes, the campaign says that after the election most of the clothing will be given to charity. But does that really make it any better? And as governor of Alaska, don’t they pay her well enough to afford a decent wardrobe? She has enough money to own seven pairs of those $700 glasses, and from the tax returns that she and Todd released, they are not exactly eating Ramen noodles and shopping at the Goodwill. And she certainly, as Governor, had enough money to take her kids on round-trip commercial flights (to events where they were not invited) and put them up in the swankiest hotel rooms, without needing to charge their expenses to the state.

Maybe this wardrobe malfunction is really a diversionary ploy. I remember an old episode of “The Partridge Family,” where Shirley was being pushed into letting a horribly bad singer perform with the band. This chick could set all the dogs in the neighborhood to howling, but she was gorgeous. So what they decided to do was dress her in a pair of hot pants and stick her up on the stage anyway, figuring that the mostly male audience would be so taken with her hot bod that they wouldn’t care if she could sing a lick. Maybe that’s what Steven Schmidt and Rick Davis are doing with their very own life-size Barbie doll. Give her a smart wardrobe, and maybe nobody will notice what’s coming out of her mouth. Or what’s coming out of her past.

Fundamental Differences

Laurieboris — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:04:34 GMT

When I learned this morning that Barack Obama’s grandmother was gravely ill, and that he was going to leave the campaign for a few days to visit her in Hawaii, I had this immediate visceral response. I have heard him talk about how she raised him, how she had instilled in him the values that he has today. That he would leave the campaign at this point to be with her really touched me. And it humanized this human being that I’ve only seen on my television. I had the same sort of response when Joe Biden took a few days off when his mother-in-law died.

And I’m wondering, if John McCain were in a similar circumstance, what he would do. I’ve read accounts of his life with Cindy McCain, and how she suffered through so many personal disasters while he stayed behind in Washington. Miscarriages, her painkiller addiction, even a stroke – all without him by her side. I don’t know what was going on in Washington at the time that was so vital that he couldn’t hop on a plane to be with his wife – or maybe, she was so accustomed to being a Navy spouse that she just kept everything to herself and didn’t tell him. But if I had an extremely important job that kept me a country away from my spouse, and if he was going through a personal disaster, I’d be on the next plane.

But that’s just me.

Perhaps it’s just a difference in culture – the stiff-upper-lipped Navy Wife perhaps has a harder life, and has to fend for herself in times of distress. I don’t want to speak out of turn because I really don’t know what goes on in the McCain’s marriage, and it’s not my business to know.

I just know what I felt when I heard Obama’s announcement earlier this morning. And I hope this dispels anybody’s arguments that he is dispassionate. And lets people know that you can run for president and still be human.

Colin Powell Endorses Obama: No Big Surprise

Laurieboris — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 17:25:10 GMT

While it might look good in the news cycle, and might be a nice cosmetic addition to Senator Obama’s growing list of endorsements, Colin Powell’s nod to Barack Obama really did not come as a big surprise to me. It might not come as a big surprise to the White House, either. George Bush is so engrossed in coming up with a solution to the economic process so he doesn’t look like a complete and total failure, anyone could probably wander into the Oval Office and give him a wedgie right about now. (Note: this is not my invitation to try. If subpoenaed, I will not testify.)

After all, Colin Powell is not really a Republican. He’s a Democrat trapped in a Republican’s body. Every time I’ve seen him on the news, he looks like a guy who reluctantly made a promise and is doing his damnedest to keep it, even though he’d rather be in Maui boogie-boarding with his wife and kids. He was one of the few in Bush’s cabinet to say that the emperor has no clothes. So now Powell is officially out of the closet. Yawn.

What does surprise me is the growing list of people who claim to be John McCain’s friends who are flipping and endorsing his opponent. Powell’s explanation? He doesn’t like McCain’s growing negativity and focus on issues like William Ayers that he, and a lot of other people, think are mere distractions during this time of economic crisis. And, he likes Obama’s potential better. On NBC’s Meet the Press this morning, Powell said that he had “come to the conclusion that because of [Barack Obama’s] ability to inspire, because of the inclusive nature of his campaign, because he is reaching out all across America, because of who he is and his rhetorical abilities — and you have to take that into account — as well as his substance — he has both style and substance, he has met the standard of being a successful president, being an exceptional president."

McCain’s rejoinder? While he has a lot of respect for Colin Powell, he wanted to remind everyone that five – count them, five – former Secretaries of State have endorsed him. Now, if I were McCain, I wouldn’t go bragging on these dudes. I’m willing to bet that none of you out there under 45 remember who these guys are. So for those of you, I will give you a refresher course on two of the Secretaries of State who have endorsed McCain: Al “I’m in Charge Here” Haig, who panicked after Ronald Reagan was shot and claimed that he was in control of the White House, even though, with the vice president unreachable at that time, Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger had that responsibility.Is just furthered his reputation as someone who was erratic and power-hungry. Also endorsing McCain is Henry Kissinger, who connived with Richard Nixon to carpet bomb countries that weren’t even involved in the Vietnam War, among other things. Some believe him to be a war criminal. And, more frightening, McCain says that Kissinger is one of his closest advisers.

What also concerns me is if someone from the McCain loyalist army chalks this up as a race issue. That since Colin Powell is a person of color, this is why he is endorsing Obama. I’m pretty sure that someone at some rally is going to shout it out. Or, barring that, there may be some whispers across the Internet from Republican operatives.

And if this happens, I’ll be interested to hear how McCain defends himself.

(Update, Sunday evening: the race thing is happening already. Both Rush Limbaugh and George Will are picking away at it. I would've expected this from Limbaugh, but even though I do not agree with George Will, oh, say, 98% of the time, I still have some respect for his intelligence. That respect is now waning. I hoped that we as a country were beyond this sort of crap, but I guess I am too idealistic.)

What You Won't Hear Tonight

Laurieboris — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:23:34 GMT

Finally, we’ve reached the last in a grueling (mostly for the viewer) series of presidential “debate’s.”

And in this last opportunity for side-by-side stump speeches, moderated by Bob Schieffer, you will not hear, much to the dismay of some McCain supporters, any personal attacks against Senator Obama. This, not because he wants to take the high road, but because poll numbers have shown that potential voters like him less when he takes the low road.

And you will not hear a single word about immigration. In fact, over the last two presidential and one vice presidential debate, we have not heard anything about immigration, as if this entire tangled up, difficult, contentious subject does not exist.

Yes, we’ve had a lot of other things on our plate, mostly that giant sucking sound you hear coming from lower Manhattan, but immigration is a subject that is also important to our economy and, some say, vital to our national security. Some want to build a giant wall to keep everybody out; some want to give everyone who is currently here amnesty. And some, like me, believe that immigration – done legally – is the fabric of our national character. All of us, at one time, have been immigrants. If not us, then our ancestors. So why not let people in who will apply for citizenship, pay their fair share in taxes, and learn our national language? This will only strengthen us as a nation.

And if you have a few minutes, you may want to take the time to learn where Barack Obama and John McCain stand on this issue. Then you can decide for yourselves. It may not be the most important issue of this campaign, but it is part of the fabric that makes up both of these candidates’ individual characters.

Things That Make Me Mad

Laurieboris — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 17:00:18 GMT

I am getting so tired of William Ayers. Hillary threw him in Obama’s face all during the primaries, and nobody bought it. McCain and his running mate are still throwing it at him, and throwing it at him, and throwing it at him, and getting their surrogates to throw it at him. Never mind that this story was fully explored and yawned at by several mainstream media sources. Never mind that we can play “Six Degrees of Separation” with almost everybody in this country and find someone that they wouldn’t want to be associated with. Never mind that Sarah Palin, every time she brings up this association, makes things worse for McCain. The Republicans, and their media backers, are never going to let it go away, no matter how hard they try to make it stick. News flash, guys: if you beat a dead horse, it’s still a dead horse, whether it’s wearing lipstick or not.

Another thing that’s making me mad is a story that I read in the New York Times about the supposed “source” behind the outright lie that Obama is Muslim who has been concealing his religion. For one, Obama is a practicing Christian. For two, this lie, in the form of a press release put out by this man and released to a Republican website, is being spread by McCain supporters (whether or not these are independent operators or campaign surrogates is unknown) in letters and e-mails being sent to potential voters. This is how that frequently-televised woman in one of McCain’s political events got the disinformation that led to her comment to McCain that she was “scared” of Obama because she heard that he was an Arab. Kudos to McCain for sending her straight. (And make note of that, because I don’t give him kudos very often)

For three, the man behind this lie is a certified nut job (my apologies to nut jobs). A former law school student, he was not permitted to become a lawyer after a psychiatrist tagged him with a “moderately severe character defect manifested by well-documented ideation with a paranoid flavor and a grandiose character.” This did not discourage him from filing numerous lawsuits, many of which were found to be frivolous. He has tried unsuccessfully to run for numerous offices in numerous states, and also has a prison record. He has been interviewed several times on Fox news and his “revelations” about the Senator from Illinois were never challenged.

And, the last straw is that I’m angry with the New York Times for printing his name and giving him so much attention. I suppose he has that free speech thing going for him, but freedoms come with responsibilities. Some of those responsibilities include not using it for slander or hate speech. They include facing the consequences of your speech. Although the Times did what they could to discredit this individual, Fox gave him nothing but free media space to spread his lies. And the demographics played right into the McCain camp. I suppose that’s politics, and I should be used to it by now, but it still makes me mad. And I’ll always have the right to say that.

About North Korea: Huh?

Laurieboris — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 19:02:51 GMT

I never agreed with or quite understood the Bush Doctrine (In what respect, Charlie?) and after reading yesterday’s news, I understand it even less. I always thought that North Korea was still part of that “axis of evil” that Bush was always talking about. You know that little triumvirate – Iraq, North Korea, and Iran. We’ve already done away with Iraq, knocking them onto their axis. Iran we’ve yet to invade –er, deal with. Now, for reasons beyond human comprehension, we just crossed off North Korea. Only because they promised to let inspectors come into their country and look at what they’re doing with their plutonium. But only at some locations.

Well, as Garfield the cat used to say, “big, fat, hairy deal.”

Plutonium is only a small part of the picture. We didn’t get a go-ahead from “Dear Leader” to see what the heck they’re doing with uranium enrichment and with their other nuclear goodies, especially the kind that might be built into suitcase bombs and sold to any evil nasty from around the world who can pony up the bucks.

Good job, guys. That’s diplomacy at its best. I cringe at the idea that they’ve already started talking with Iran. So what are they going to walk away with here? A promise that angry mobs are not going to wave those “Death to America” signs on Al Jazeera, if we look the other way on some of that stuff Ahmadinejad has been spouting about wiping Israel off the map? Oh, right. I can just see how those negotiations are going. “Okay, guys. You stop making us look bad on the air, and we’ll give you Britney Spears and the Internet.”

I see exactly what Bush is doing, and I don’t even work for the State Department. He’s got, oh, seven or so months left until he gets evicted from the White House, and so far that hunt for a positive legacy has eluded him. (Or has deluded him, one or the other.) It’s not looking like he’s getting anywhere with that whole economy thing, and it doesn’t look too good in Iraq, either. So what’s he doing? Sending Condoleezza Rice and her team jetting around the world doing what they should have been doing for the last eight years. Talking to people. You know, that whole diplomacy thing. The one that Barack Obama has been talking about? The one that John McCain has been criticizing Barack Obama for? The one that you’re supposed to do before you ignore good intelligence and the opinions of your allies and bomb some country into the Stone Age?

There is a problem with waiting to do that. There’s a problem with alienating half the world by not doing that sooner. By waiting until your approval numbers are lower than Richard Nixon’s to do what you should have done the first place looks patently crafted to rank you somewhere a little higher in the history books.

And it’s too little, too late. And now that we’ve given North Korea the upper hand, I cringe to see what might happen next.

Perhaps Bush needs a weapon of mass distraction. Maybe he can see if Monica Lewinsky still has that blue dress.

Are We Stressed Yet?

Laurieboris — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 19:38:08 GMT

I confess. I am a certified news junkie. Especially now. I sneak off to check the latest New York Times headlines on my Kindle, or the latest poll numbers on politico.com, or the latest news flashes on a variety of media.

And if that’s not one of the signs of an addict, then I don’t know what is.

Until someone designs a 12-step program for news addiction (believe me, I’m working on it, but Obamanonymous only solves part of the problem), I’m going to have to take some serious measures.

Because this is really starting to become a problem. I get jittery if I don’t know what’s going on with the global economy or the political campaigns, and I get jittery reading about their progress, or lack of. I automatically turn on the TV or radio as soon as I come downstairs in the morning. I read Slate with breakfast, the New York Times with lunch, and if I have no other company, it’s The Nation with dinner. And NPR if I happened to be driving.

I know this is affecting the quality of my sleep. I can’t say for sure, but I think my blood pressure is up a few points. And I know I can’t be in the same room if Fox News is on the television or if Rush Limbaugh is on the radio.

My massage therapist suggested deep breathing exercises. But I only find my mind wandering away from the rhythm of the breath to thoughts of how Obama should defend himself against John McCain’s latest attack ad.

Dr. Andrew Weil, one of my favorite gurus on alternative medicine and health, suggests a lengthy news fast. But, come on. Let’s get realistic. Depriving myself of chocolate doesn’t work, so how the heck am I supposed to do it with the newspaper? At least newspapers don’t have calories and don’t give me migraines – well, depending on how their reporters have slanted the news.

So I did a little bit of Googling and had a little bit of thought, and came up with some things I might try to do on my own. And if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

1. Smaller bites of news fasting. While the prospect of going days and days without my addiction seems impossible, I think I might be able to manage an hour or two here and there. Just a little bit of silence so I’m not so bombarded, so I can do other things. Like, write about the news.

2. Earplugs are an awesome invention. When Rush Limbaugh’s or Sarah Palin’s voice starts to grate, I just stick those babies and my ears and suddenly, like magic, they disappear. Aah, Calgon, take me away.

3. Go outside (without the Kindle). I keep forgetting that it’s October, and October is my favorite month. I have to keep reminding myself of that. The trees are aflame, the apples are scrumptious, the air is crisp, and there is no other feeling in the world like the one of crunching through a pile of fallen leaves. Except the one of somebody threatening you with a rake because they’ve just finished piling them up.

4. Talk to people. There is a problem with sitting around with my snoot in a magazine. It does not allow for contact with other human beings. And isn’t that why we’re all here, to have contact with other human beings? Yes, I will try that. And if they start talking about politics, I’ll kick them under the table.

5. Hang out with kids. Children are amazing. Run around with them for a while, play a few games, and all the stress melts away. As I have none of my own, I’ll have to borrow some. And no fair explaining to them the details of Barack Obama’s health care plan, or how the government bailout will work.

6. Find another hobby. Unfortunately, most of my hobby-related time involves absorbing the day’s news and writing about it. I know there’s got to be something else out there. Other people seem to do it. There are entire stores devoted completely to hobbies that other people find enjoyable. Perhaps I should learn to knit. Unfortunately, you can still knit and watch the news on TV. I have to find something that takes me away from all sources of electricity. Maybe fishing. The good news is that fish don’t talk back. And if they do, then I think I’ll be ready for another kind of 12-step program.

Got a Month? Write a Novel!

Laurieboris — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:31:06 GMT

Have you ever thought that one day you would like to write a novel? Well, now’s your chance.

The catch is, you only have one month to do it. That’s the deal if you want to join almost 20,000 would-be novelists from around the world who have signed up to participate in National Novel Writing Month this November.

The organization (NaNoWriMo) was established 10 years ago by San Francisco Bay area writer Chris Baty, who wanted to look for a fun way to help him and his writing buddies get over their writers block. Since then the phenomenon has mushroomed from 21 people just writing in the Bay Area to 20,000 people internationally. And that’s only those who’ve signed up so far.

The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel (that’s about 175 pages) in a month. Really, it’s a lot more fun than it sounds. I participated a few years back, and while it was a great writing challenge, I enjoyed the freedom of just writing whatever popped into my head, without that pesky old inner critic stopping my words. After some beginning confusion, I found that I had a story that seemed to take off all by itself. The organization also gave me an opportunity for support with an online writers forum where I could whine to other participants or celebrate my day’s word count. And at the end of November, I had the whole first draft of a novel completed, plus a nifty certificate that said that I was one of NaNoWriMo’s winners. (Of course, all of takes to win is to complete the word count, but still, it was a nice thing to have.)

This year, I’m going to try again. And you guys get to watch. I’m going to dedicate a section of my webpage to each day’s posting, and awful as it might be, you’ll get to see how my novel is progressing. I will also have another section with some tips on how I got through my first November novel.

If you are a novelist, or have one trapped inside you, I would love for you sign up and join me – or, to sponsor me. Just go to the NaNoWriMo website for details on how to sign up and get started. No fair writing down outlines in advance – the contest starts November 1.

Are We There Yet?

Laurieboris — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:31:29 GMT

(Yawn) Oh, I’m sorry. I must have dozed off. I think it was during the Presidential debate, right around the time when John McCain said “my friends” for about the 97th time. Not that I was counting. It’s just a little device I use when I have trouble falling asleep. I guess it worked.

That’s why this report on the second presidential debate is so late. I just woke up. And realized, like a lot of you, that this was not just one of the most boring debates in the history of debating, but one of the most egregious wastes of electricity since Britney Spears’ last tour.

Just think of all that red carpeting gone to waste. Joan Rivers could just plotz. Not to mention the waste of Tom Brokaw. But the uselessness of this event really can’t be blamed on the moderator – the format is what’s at fault. I thought a town hall meeting was supposed to be at least a little bit exciting, if not mildly interesting. The audience throws down questions. The candidates, thinking on their feet, answer them, and the moderator, well, moderates.

But this audience, who was supposedly comprised of 80 “undecided” voters (and I don’t know, some of you undecideds might be reading this – and if you are, I’d love to have a conversation about it – but how could anybody at this point in the election with these two guys that we’ve seen and heard from so many times still not know who you’re going to vote for?), asked the most general, canned questions that can elicit nothing more than the candidates’ usual stump speeches, with maybe the use of the questioner’s name to give it that personal touch. I know that they were advised, by those rules that we’ve heard so many times, to promise to be quiet and not have any outbursts (I don’t know what would happen to anyone who had – oh my God, an outburst), but they acted like they were not just drugged but lobotomized. Where was that outrage that I’ve been hearing the media tell me Americans are feeling these days? Where’s the passion? Do they even care? Are they actually partisans who faked being undecided so they could be on TV? Did they import them from some local institution? Were they threatened in some way? If you show any emotion we’ll boil your pet rabbit?

And where was “ponytail guy?” For those of you not old enough to remember, this was a guy who stood up in a town hall debate between George Bush the Elder and Bill Clinton. He asked if Bush knew the price of a gallon of milk – or so the myth goes. Could have been some other question meant to trap either these guys into showing that they have no sympathy for the common man. And it led to just that – doubt in the minds of voters that Bush “got it” when it came to relating to Joe and Jane Sixpack. And you know how the rest of the story goes.

This is one of the reasons why the debate sucked. They stopped “ponytail guy” at the door. The format is the other and major reason why this was such a travesty, a joke on the American people. It was so rigid and stifling that the candidates could do nothing but give their usual canned answers. No time allotted for rebuttals, no direct questioning, no nothing.

I’m sure this was not the town hall debate the John McCain wanted. And he was the one who wanted them so badly, because he felt like this was his best venue. But to me, he came across as a shuffling, wheezy old man, who got grumpy easily, who refused to look directly at “that one” (my apologies to grumpy, shuffling, wheezy old men everywhere) and was, in a word, snarky.

And nobody likes snarky. Especially from someone who’s behind in the polls.

And I’m sure that the governor from Alaska was probably all a-quiver, cheering on her boss, but at the same time saying, “aw, gosh darn it” for his not “taking the gloves off” like she advised him to. (And is she now one of his advisers as well? His energy expert, his advocate for children with autism, and now one of his advisers? Boy, he’d be able to hold his cabinet meetings in the White House broom closet.)

I give points to Obama for coming across as more presidential and coolheaded than his opponent. But I hope for a little more from the next and last debate. In the meantime, I’ll keep the recording I made of this one. For the next time I get insomnia.

Ms. Palin, You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself

Laurieboris — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:28:25 GMT

During a campaign stop in Estero, Florida yesterday, Sarah Palin continued to refer to the New York Times article exploring the relationship between Barack Obama and William Ayers. Even though the Times debunked any kind of close relationship between the two (after all, former Weatherman Ayers had committed his terrorist deeds when Obama was only a child, and as an adult, Obama decried these acts, and the two have very little contact to this day). Yet the Governor tenaciously clings to this claim (kind of like she did with that Bridge to Nowhere) that Obama “pals around with terrorists.” She also uses that to leave the impression in people’s minds that he is not, as has been spreading around in e-mails to McCain supporters, “one of us.”

Even worse, she allowed Florida’s Lee County sheriff Mike Scott to introduce her, and during this introduction, he referred to Senator Obama by using his middle name of Hussein. This was indeed a provocative act – after all, Obama’s father was Kenyan and that’s how he got his name – yet she let it go. A so-called Christian women, who, according to Christian doctrine, is supposed to be open-minded to all faiths, is supposed to be forgiving, and should have – if she were any kind of Christian woman – told the sheriff that this kind of fear mongering racism should not be allowed to stand.

But this gets in the way of her campaign goals, doesn’t it?

Even John McCain would not have let it stand.

Yet, she persists, with her fear mongering, with her race baiting, with that hideous, small minded, un-American blather that the Democratic candidate is not “one of us.”

One of us? And who is that? Who is this “us?” Everyone currently alive in this country is from somewhere else. We are all one big “us.”

So what is the Governor trying to say, exactly? Obama is not “one of us” because he is a black man? (And why does no one talk about the fact that he is half white?) Because he has an odd name? Because he used to live in Hawaii? Tell me, Ms. Palin, which “us” are you referring to? Have you forgotten that Barack Obama is also a Christian?

I’m sure he would be much more forgiving of you.

Your provocative innuendo is exactly what happens when any new group of people enter our borders. Way back when, the Dutch and English settlers railed against the French. These “original” occupants (and never mind what we were doing to the American Indians) went crazy when the Irish began landing on our shores. When the Irish had begun to settle into their communities, they didn’t care much for the Italians, who came next. And the Eastern Europeans? They were called filthy. They had all these horrible habits and spoke in strange languages. They weren’t one of us.

And the progression progresses.

And what about you, Ms. Palin? Where are your people from? Are you, who grew up in the middle of the country, an area where many immigrants settled, “original” enough to make any kind of complaint about anybody else?

You expect us to be open-minded about the state of your family, about the little quirks of your religion, yet if someone else has a “funny” name, if they associate (however briefly, however tangentially and however long ago) with people that you also consider “funny”, then you’d don’t consider them “one of us.”

I’ve got news for you, Ms. Palin. Your running mate, John McCain, being of Irish descendent, was at one time considered “not one of us.” Have you seen that movie “Far and Away” with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman? Yes, violence against Irish immigrants actually happened. McCain’s ancestors were not only discriminated against, they were beaten up in alleyways, spat upon, rioted against, and yet they arrived. Because this is a country that lets anybody in. Yes, it’s a cliché, but we are all swimming in one big melting pot.

And yes, Ms. Palin, in some circles, you are not “one of us” either.

Candidates Who Live in Glass Houses

Laurieboris — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:32:44 GMT

With less than a month to go before voters go to the polls, this election has taken its predictable dive into the mud-wrestling pit. Even after a very detailed, and if I do say so myself, balanced history of the association between Barack Obama and William Ayers – one in which the New York Times, and other publications, concludes, and I’m paraphrasing, “no big deal,” McCain’s running mate is still gleefully telling her loyal fans that Obama “pals around with terrorists.”

So. McCain wants to get dirty? Well, I could say a few things about Charles Keating. Even though McCain claimed that he was exonerated, I thought he was the one who said that associations matter? And he was absolutely associated with Keating – the man who was, among others, responsible for the Savings and Loan scandals in the early 1990s.

But, it’s not time to be pointing fingers.

Or, I could say a few things about some shady associations McCain and his chief lobbyist and former campaign manager, Rick Davis, had with Russian millionaire Oleg Deripaska (a man with some extremely shady associations of his own). The Nation reported that McCain, Davis, and Deripaska were responsible for helping your buddy and mine, Vladimir Putin, expand his geopolitical and economic advantage by annexing the independent country of Montenegro. This little land grab gave Putin a huge piece of the valuable aluminum industry, and access to Mediterranean ports. Maybe I’m wrong, but didn’t McCain revile Putin in his Republican National Convention acceptance speech for “reassembling the old Russian Empire?” Yet didn’t McCain and his cronies make Putin’s task a little easier?

Still want to talk about associations?

We could talk about Rick Davis all day. How he, McCain’s campaign manager until 2006, lobbied himself blue for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.

But associations don’t matter, do they?

Once again Rick Davis’s name comes up – are you sensing a pattern here? -- in a New York Times article exploring John McCain’s ties to the Indian gambling casino business. In McCain’s current presidential campaign, Davis, along with “more than 40 fund-raisers and top advisers have lobbied or worked for an array of gambling interests — including tribal and Las Vegas casinos, lottery companies and online poker purveyors.”

And even though McCain exposed Jack Abramoff as a lobbyist who took advantage of Indian gambling casino businesses, according to the Times article, “interviews and records show that lobbyists and political operatives in Mr. McCain’s inner circle played a behind-the-scenes role in bringing Mr. Abramoff’s misdeeds to Mr. McCain’s attention — and then cashed in on the resulting investigation. The senator’s longtime chief political strategist, for example, was paid $100,000 over four months as a consultant to one tribe caught up in the inquiry, records show.”

But, if we listen to Senator McCain, then we should believe that associations do matter.

Does this one matter? The 70th birthday party given for him – in Montenegro, of all inconvenient places, aboard the yacht of a convicted Italian felon?

How about this one? A fundraiser earlier this year in London, given by Lord and Nathaniel Rothschild. Nathaniel Rothschild is a close adviser to our buddy Oleg Deripaska (remember him?), who reportedly made Rothschild a very, very wealthy man. Not to mention that it’s illegal to accept campaign contributions from foreigners. Yet McCain, from a news story just this morning, wants to get into it with Obama about the Illinois Senator’s own campaign fund-raising.

My advice for John McCain? Candidates who live in glass houses, and have over a quarter century’s experience (and traceable record) in the Senate have no business throwing stones. Or slinging mud.

(spoof) Cindy McCain Suspends Campaign

Laurieboris — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 21:08:10 GMT

In an unprecedented and frankly puzzling move, Cindy McCain called a press conference to announce that she is suspending her campaign for First Lady, effective immediately.

While she did not give a definitive reason, a source close to Ms. McCain’s staff says that it may be related to a recent news item about Barack Obama. Senator Obama was photographed purchasing a bouquet of flowers, and told his pool reporters that it was for the couple’s wedding anniversary. He asked the reporters to give him the gift of one night off, so he could take Michele out for a fancy dinner undisturbed.

Apparently, while Ms. McCain was having another unfortunate rope line injury tended to at a local emergency room (a repeat episode of an April 2008 incident where an overenthusiastic supporter broke Ms. McCain’s wrist while shaking her hand), a television in the lobby played the news item. Immediately after which, Ms. McCain showed what very close observers could only define as emotion.

“Yep, I seen them Botoxed babes all the time,” said an orderly who was on duty at the time but declined to give his name. “And that looked like a reaction, all right. Especially since one of the nurses got all gushy and said to another one she wished her husband was that romantic. Then Mrs. McCain got out her cell phone – even though we asked her not to use it – and started pushing buttons like mad.”

As soon as she was released from the hospital, sources close to Mrs. McCain said she asked her press secretary to arrange the news conference.

“Effective immediately, I will suspend my campaign for First Lady until further notice,” said the Senator’s wife to the collected pool of reporters. Sporting one of her signature designer dresses and looking frailer than usual, an apparently calm Cindy McCain said, in a dull monotone, that she’d be taking no questions. Then she retreated back into the McCain’s Arizona home.

Calls to the mansion – one of the many that the couple owns – were not returned in time for this broadcast. Although investigation into the trash that was removed from the house that night found a lot of used tissues, many smeared with what appeared to be eye makeup, an empty prescription vial of Vicodin, a crumpled newspaper photo of Senator Obama and his wife, and, surprisingly, a photograph of McCain’s running mate, with several teeth blacked out and the words “hussy bible-thumping witch” scrawled across it. Apparently, according to other sources close to Mrs. McCain who declined to be identified, Cindy McCain was quite dismayed that her husband invited Sarah Palin to be their guest during her debate practice.

But Mrs. McCain’s half-sister, Kathleen Hensley Portalski, never mentioned by McCain during any of her interviews, was more than happy to speak to us at length about Cindy McCain’s feelings about the Alaskan Governor and the possible motive behind the suspension of Mrs. McCain’s campaign.

Mrs. Portalski, a Democrat, said that Cindy McCain was never happy with her husband’s choice of running mate, saying that Sarah Palin is “too pretty,” and wishing he could have gone with someone less attractive.

“Well, you probably know that he left his first wife for Cindy. And now I think she’s jealous, and thinking it might happen again,” Mrs. Portalski said. “Cindy’s been a Navy wife, and then a Senator’s wife, for like, forever. And she’s always going off about how lonely she is and how John never pays any attention to her, even when he’s in town. And there was something about he forgot her anniversary last year. Now he’s going around the country with that pretty little thing dangling on his every word, and he looks at Sarah Palin like she’s the best thing since sliced bread. Then maybe that photograph of Obama buying the flowers drove Cindy around the bend.

“It was pretty romantic,” Mrs. Portalski added. “Heck, if I wasn’t married—.”

At that point, Secret Service agents dragged her away from our microphones.

When asked about the suspension, John McCain declined to be interviewed, but a representative from his campaign said that, “because of the blatant bias of this webpage, anything you write about Senator McCain is not credible. It really is a shame to see something that used to be a beacon of fair and balanced journalism sink to its current partisanship.”

But later that day, Senator McCain was seen at a florist placing an order for five dozen red roses, asking that they be sent to an address in Arizona.

(Thank you to isabar for the idea for the concept of the story)